.:i think:.

its funny how we all perceive things so differently.
some hope for the best...
and others don't hope at all, so they never have any pain.
some people are scared for the future.
scared to truly be happy.
scared of committement.
scared to be hurt.
how often i find myself throwing the best things i have out.
and i always do it because of one of these fears.
i am continually doing this knowingly while still unhappy.
i try to prevent the pain that has yet to come upon me, because of one person
but all i do is create more pain for the both of us.
because i push them away.
scared to think someone could actually know me the way they do.
actually love me the way they do.
actually care for me the way they do.
its hard to place a feeling like love.
just when that word is beginning to lose any and all meaning,
you come across someone or something that makes you think again.
you realize it is there.
but you have heard it all a million times, and to hear it once more would seem so cliche.
until you hear it, and you know that its real and nothing else can compare,
you just have to know that they are the one.
you don't want to lose them.
or have them, the one person you actually LOVE, leave you...
so instead of you having your heart broken, you break theirs.
with all the pain, the tears, the pleading, and facts coming up...
you can't do it. you know your life will never be the same without that one person.
so you try to explain how you feel and apologize, but to your luck, suprise, and thankfullness...
they could careless why you did it, for that period of time, they are just so happy to have you back. you feel like crap for the way you acted and just want to stay right there, in their arms forever, because that is the best feeling in the WORLD!
no doubt!
im sorry jordan. youre that person. i know i question sometimes, but when you tell me you love me...there's nothing like the feeling that i get when i hear that from you. i love you more than anything in the world. i couldn't even begin to explain why i do the things i do, so that is my best explanation and i hope it makes a little more sense to you.
i love you baby. xoxo. muah. forever and always,
all i ever want is to be with you.
i just get scared.
so im sorry.
i love you.
with love.
forever.
always.
PLUS
a lot
more
no
lie
♥