Tuesday, March 2, 2010

.:Lingering:.

Time has passed since I last talked to you. You're voice still lingers in the back of my mind... all the time. The way you said you didn't know who I was anymore or how you didn't like who I've become. I guess its hard for me to take. Losing someone, something that just helped me feel somewhat complete. Here's where it gets tricky, with that loss I've also found another world, another side, another view that makes me feel completion too. I get so lost in thought when I try to figure out what to do. Why do I want to please something from the past in this way is beyond me... does this mean my greatest fear that what I think makes me so happy now isn't, isn't what I need or where I'm supposed to be or even worse... it will all end like everything else has!? I don't want that to be, I want where I am now.. but still live for your acceptance. I think that is where I'm stuck... I need that CLARITY. Who the hell knows what I need clarified but obviously there is something. Maybe we should talk?
Time has passed since I last talked to you. Is that really your voice lingering or just myself telling myself I let you go and I shouldn't have?
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"Just let go of this..."
-How? That is the reason I am the way I am today. Just let it go seems so, so wrong.
"The past is the past. You're movin forward and you're smiling and carefree. Why end it?"
-But I wouldn't be able to realize how happy my life now makes me without everything I have been through.
"You're choice... but eventually you will see you have to let this go."
-*sigh*

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